You built the thing. The checklist, the template, the guide. Now you have to tell people it’s for sale, and suddenly you’re picturing everyone you know reading your post, rolling their eyes and thinking, “Oh, now they’re selling stuff.”
That fear stops a lot of side businesses right at the finish line. It helps to know that psychologists have studied a version of it, and the findings are reassuring.
The Spotlight Effect
In a well-known set of studies published in 2000, psychologists Thomas Gilovich, Victoria Medvec and Kenneth Savitsky had participants wear an embarrassing T-shirt into a room of other people, then guess how many of them had noticed it. The wearers guessed that far more people had noticed than actually had. People who watched a recording of someone else in the same shirt, by contrast, made estimates that were close to accurate.
The researchers called this the spotlight effect: we tend to overestimate how much other people notice and judge what we do. Gilovich and Savitsky also described a related bias, the illusion of transparency, where we overestimate how easily others can read our internal states, such as nervousness.
Applied to selling: the people you imagine scrutinizing your launch post are mostly busy with their own lives. Most will scroll past. A few will be interested. Very few will think about it as much as you do.
Selling Is Not an Imposition When It’s Useful
The other half of the fear is feeling pushy. A simple test helps: if the product solves a real problem for the people you’re telling, and you describe it honestly, you’re offering, not imposing. People who don’t need it can ignore it. People who do need it would probably rather know.
What does cross a line is pressure: fake deadlines, exaggerated results, guilt. Skip all of that and you can sell with a clear conscience.
Make the First Ask Small
You don’t have to start with a big launch. Start with something you can live with:
- Mention the product at the end of a helpful email or post, in one or two sentences.
- Tell one person who has asked about the exact problem it solves.
- Share a short behind-the-scenes note about why you made it, then link to it.
Expect a quiet response at first. Most new products sell slowly, and results vary a lot. A quiet first week is normal, not a verdict.
Track Asks, Not Just Sales
Sales are partly out of your control. Asks are not. Keep a simple count of how many times this month you told someone, plainly, that your product exists. If the number is low, the problem probably isn’t the product yet.
Do This Today
Write a three-sentence note about your product: who it’s for, the problem it solves and where to get it. Send it to one person or post it in one place where it genuinely fits, then write the date in your notes as your first “ask.”
More on Totally Relentless
- Stop Comparing Your Month Three to Someone Else’s Year Five
- Track Small Wins: Why Visible Progress Keeps You Going
- How to Find Your First Customer Before You Have an Audience
